Welcome to our savvy sex in 60 seconds video series, presented by Dr. Jenni Skyler. Scroll down to watch each video, or watch Jenni’s entire series on Adam & Eve’s Youtube Channel.
October is Breast Cancer Month, P1
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. October is Breast Cancer Month, so we are going to be talking about breast health today. This is how to do early detection and preventative measures in a fun and pleasurable way. Breast cancer is real and i's common. One in eight women and one in 1,000 men are impacted by invasive breast cancer. So doing our preventative measures is so key. Yet, I have so many clients tell me they just forget, it's not fun, it's not on their radar. So, here's my invitation to you. Let's set an alarm for once a month on your calendar or if you have a partner, definitely put it on their calendar. And, jump in bed, jump in the shower, jump in the bathtub and make the exploration fun and pleasurable. Yes, you want to be tracking for abnormalities of lumps or bumps in the breast tissue and armpit that have not previously been there. And, certainly if you find something, take it to your doctor. If you don't find something, let's continue with the breast exploration and move into the zone of pleasure. To learn how to do that a little more in-depth, check with us next week.
October is Breast Cancer Month, P2
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. October is Breast Cancer Month, and last week we talked about the importance of breast health. So, today we will be talking about the importance of breast play. How do we optimize our pleasure in this erogenous zone. If you think about a spectrum of sensation, some people have very little sensation in their breasts. Some people so much sensation that they can have an orgasm really easily. And, most of us live somewhere inbetween. And yet, one of the struggles that I see couples have, is that we don't have language on how to communicate what we like and what we need. So, I want to invite you to think about a scale of one to five. I'm going to use my breast, which is actually my spaghetti squash that I grew in my garden. It's a lovely breast with a wonderful nipple. "One" is really soft light contact. "Five" is very very hard pressure. You can caress, you can scratch, you can tickle, you can nibble, suck, bite. You can even go shopping on Adam and Eve and find this clitoral toy and use it on the breast as a sucking motion and have a lot of fun experimenting. But, here's the homework, one through five. One is really soft, a five is a lot of pressure. Play with this, have fun and we'll get to next week.
Halloween & Costuming
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Halloween is around the corner and we're going to talk about costuming. I even wore my fun eighties earrings for this episode. Because, I've got to say, Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands down. It's a time where sexually, we get to be as salacious as we desire, and psychologically, we get to try on all these different alter egos that maybe you've always wanted to play with — cross-dressing, or a different gender fluid expression, or maybe you've wanted to experiment with being a furry or superhero or a Sub or Dom. The costuming element of Halloween allows us to try on and experiment with all these different expressions and personalities. I also hear from couples that they have the best sex of their lives while in costume. The costume allows us to feel unfettered and unhindered and so we try on new things, new positions, new places, or new people. I even had a set of friends come over the other evening right after I received my box of goodies from Adam and Eve. Though this couple had rarely done any anal play, when they saw my lovely new butt plug attached to a wolf's tail, they made a purchase immediately. So, there is something about costuming that allows us to try on new things. So, that's your homework. Of course, safe sex, not too much alcohol because we want to adequately consent. But, have fun, take a little risk, and we'll catch you next week where we'll talk about roleplay.
Sexual Education 101
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. It's September and we're going back to school and talking all about Sex Ed 101. This is my favorite topic and yet, it's one of these topics where we actually start having sex before we talk about sex. I even joke with my couples, that it's easier to have sex then talk about sex. But, if we do this we can actually have a lot of negative experiences. We can have erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, lack of orgasm, even painful sex if you have a new lover, and if you're not talking about sex before you have it, you can get an STD, have an unintended pregnancy. There's a lot of negative consequences, so it's so important to talk about sex. Yet, I know this can be uncomfortable and awkward, so let's make it fun, let's just name the elephant in the room which is this is awkward. Let's have the big awkward conversation about what sex needs to look like. Do we want to use condoms? Do you have an IUD? Do we only want to do oral sex? We want to go slow and just kiss. Do we need to learn anatomy and physiology and where things are? Do we need a little help? If you need a little help and you want a great book, The Guide to Getting It On is amazing. It's hilarious, it's accurate, and you can break it down into small chapters. It is so fun to read out loud together. Plus, here on Savvy Sex, we're gonna continue to have these conversations through the months so you can learn more. Catch us next week.
Sexual Education 101, Part 2
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Our September theme is Sex Ed 101 and today we're talking about how to talk with out kids about sex as a parent. As a therapist, this is my favorite topic. I'm passionate about this because if we can actually intervene as adults to give accurate information to our youth, we can actually grow a sexually literate society. Yes, our kids are going to get information from social media and from born and both of those places have their purpose. However, it can compromise the accuracy, intimacy and self-esteem of the human. So, we want to intervene as adults to have those comfortable and confident conversations with our youth which may mean we need to do a little fine-tuning on our learning as well. Here's the take home tip; once you feel comfortable and confident, let's have those conversations early and often in small, bite-size pieces through the lifespan. When they're small, teach them about their bodies, how it works as they grow. Teach them about how babies are mad as they keep growing. Talk about reproduction. Keep them safe from STDs and pregnancy but don't forget to talk about consent and intimacy and pleasure, mutual pleasure. All the important conversations that we want for out youth to have awesome sex lives. Catch you next week.
Sexual Education 101, Part 3
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're finishing out September talking about Sex Ed 101. Today, we're talking about dirty talk. What it is, why do it, and how to do it. So, I define dirty talk as the difference between dry directions in the bedroom and more dirty, salacious directions. We need to give directions because if we don't, we then assume that our lover or our partner is a mind reader, which they are not. And then what happens is that we don't get our needs met. We don't maximize our pleasure. So, let's talk about how to do dirty talk. You can use different words that may be a little more out of the box for you; like cunt and cock and pussy. Or, you can use your typical language with a little bit of purring with your directions. You can purr or moan. Or you can be completely non-verbal, but really utilize your body in a sensual body to move your lover's hand to the places they need to be with the pressure they need to have. You can use verbal or non-verbal. You can be as salacious and out there or just slightly flirty as you need to be. This is a spectrum. I invite this on... maybe practice in the mirror a little bit so you get familiar with it. And then play with it in the bedroom. And if you want to learn a more about dirty talk and all things Sex Ed 101, I invite you to Monday, September 24th, our Facebook event called Deeper. We'll drop in deep for thirty minutes, get all your questions answered and talk about Sex Ed 101. See you there.
August is Anal Sex Month!
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. It's August, which means we get to talk about all things anal all month. Today's topic is anal sex and what it is. I have a lot of clients who have this misconception that anal sex is only for gay men, or that it's painful. Yet, at the end of the day, even though we may have different genitals, testicles, penis, something in between, we all have an anus. Which means we are all capable of the potential for pleasure in the anal area. So the way I like to definite anal sex, is anything erogenous and pleasurable to the anus. This could be light touching. This could be rimming, which is light tickling with the tongue. This could be light penetration with a finger, a toy, or a penis. This could be fuller penetration with that finger, toy, or penis. So, if you've never explored your anal area, I invite you to do a little homework. Take a shower, relax, bring a little lube in and go exploring your own anus. See what kind of erogenous pleasure you can engage in with yourself. Have a good one and we'll catch you next week.
August is Anal Sex Month! Part 2
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're still in August talking about all things anal, and today's topic is moving from pain to pleasure. Perhaps you've had anal intercourse in the past and it was super painful. It doesn't mean future encounters cannot be pleasurable. It means that we need to engage with the anus in a way that is respectful and relaxed. Yes, if we are not ready psychologically or physically, the anus will squeeze and tense up and it will feel like it's fighting off an invader. We can cause tearing or subsequent hemorrhoids, so we really want to make sure we're doing well with our foreplay. We want to do lots of touching, lots of lube, lots of licking and ask questions. Are we ready? Do we feel excited even as we do light penetration into the anus? Just that first quarter inch, you'll feel two sphincters. Inside, one is controlled by yourself with lots of deep breathing to relax and the other takes some practice because it's an involuntary sphincter that wants to close up. But, with practice and relaxation, it learns to respond in a relaxed way and receive. The pleasure can come from all the nerve endings on the outside of the anus or right inside the anus. Some people really love that pleasure of that full feeling of having full penetration inside of them. If you don't know what your pleasure feels like yet, I invite you to go practice. We'll catch you next week.
August is Anal Sex Month! Part 3
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're still in August talking about all things anal. Today's topic is why is anal sex kept in the closet. So many people enjoy anal sex of all sexual orientations. They enjoy the pleasure of the nerve endings on the outside of the anus or the inside part or the fullness of the rectum. Some people are learning to move from pain to pleasure if you watched video number two, and some people just loved the dirty, sleazy, raunchy quality the anal sex seems to engender. In people's minds it's a taboo topic, so many of my clients will sort of bashfully say, "Yeah, when I masturbate, sometimes I stick a finger inside my anus or with my partner we played with the anus and used a toy." And I say, "Great!" Of course, it's exciting. The part of what makes it exciting is that it is taboo; that it isn't part of our mainstream box of what we know to be missionary vanilla sex, and when we break free from that box, we can have a lot of psychological pleasure. So, whether it's anal pleasure or something else, take a step outside the box and see if you can kick up that excitement a few notches. We'll catch you next week.
August is Anal Sex Month! Part 4
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're finishing out August talking about all things anal. To summarize, we have talked about what is anal sex and different kinds of anal play. We've talked about anatomy and hygiene and we've talked about what makes a more taboo activity a little more psychologically exciting. So, Today's tip is how to take this home and practice on a daily basis. Because, to really receive the pleasure of anal play, we need to practice. So, my tip is the three S's. Shower: Feel clean and rejuvenated. Slow: So we can really learn to relax and receive. Sensual: Because this is 'of the senses'. There are so many rich, exciting nerve endings to engage in and if you have more questions or would just like to learn more about anal sex, please join us on Thursday August 30th for our Facebook live event called Deeper. We dive in deep, we peel back the layers of the onion and we answer all your questions on anal sex. Plus, if you come to our event and tell us about some of the tips you've tried from Savvy sex, you might be the winner of a really juicy gift basket. We'll see you then — Thursday, August 30th at 8 pm Eastern Standard Time on Facebook.
Discussing Sexual Performance!
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. It's July and we've been talking about sexual freedom. Today's topic is sexual performance. When we get imprisoned by this idea of sexual performance, where we have to perform oral sex, perform intercourse sex, sex becomes very transactional, loses its fun and can be a slippery slope toward sexual dysfunction. Basically, we stick our genitals on a stage in the spotlight and pressure them to perform. The penis must be strong and erect and stay erect the whole time and certainly not come too fast. The vagina must get wet and aroused and stay aroused the whole time and end in an illustrious orgasm. If we can't do any of these things or certainly not well enough, we feel like we failed, and if we have too many failures then we start to feel like we have sexual dysfunction. So, here's our solution and also our homework. I want to replace performance with pleasure. I want us to get out of the corner of our bedrooms and into our body. So, next time you are sexual or erotic, I want you to close your eyes and take three slow deep breaths and lean into the sensations of pleasure happening in your body. Let the pleasure dominate. The orgasm can be a byproduct. So, again, we are replacing the performance with pleasure. See you next week!
Celebrating Sexual Freedom!
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. I'm wearing my red, white and blue to honor July 4th and our nation's freedom, and so, today we're going to talk about sexual freedom. One of the problems I see in my office is when clients feel imprisoned by sex. Negative messages tend to come from our childhood upbringing, media and religion, and they leave us wondering "Am I normal?" So, here's my answer and solution — Yes! Rule of thumb is this; as long as there's consent by all parties involved and the ability to consent, have a good time with whatever sexual activity you're doing. Maybe your activities or your turn-ons are conventional or maybe they're a little unconventional, but rather than worry what other people think, ask yourself, "What do I want to do and is there consent?" So, here's your homework; Step out of the box a little bit. Try something you've been reluctant to do like buy a toy or have sex in a new location or even just cook dinner in your kitchen naked and see what freedom tastes like. I'll catch you next week.
June is for Vacation Sex
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. It's June, which means it's summer vacation time and therefore, vacation sex time. In this series, we're going to talk about vacation sex and what makes it steamy, how to keep that going in regular life and of course any tools, toys and accessories to add to your erotic toolbox. I have so many clients tell me that their peak erotic experiences happen on vacation. I believe this is because vacations are about turning off the brain and turning on the body. Our biggest sex organ, our brain, gets overwhelmed in daily life. Vacations are about being restorative, allowing that reset for our internal sexual software. We don't get clogged up thinking about adding carrots to our grocery list. Instead, we get to be creative, imaginative, and curious about the person in front of us. Essentially, vacation sex works so well because we get to be psychologically turned on and physiologically turned on. Stay tuned next week where we talk about how to maintain all of this through your daily life.
Discussing Body Image
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni and this short sex therapy session is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're in July, talking about sexual freedom and today's topic is about body image. Yet, how many of us feel free and liberated in our body? Do we go, "Oh, I'm so excited by this body I inhabit. No changes needed here!" Or do we actually feel imprisoned by all the messages of what we should look like; how muscular we should be, how thin we should be, how our breasts should look, our butt should look... So if you're one of these people who do struggle with body image, here's our solution. It comes back to choice. It get to choose how I look in the mirror. I can choose to be at war with my body or it can choose to be at peace and acceptance. I can choose to appreciate my functionality, my strength and my beauty. So here's your homework — If you have a scale, stick it in the closet for three weeks. If you tend to be one of those people the picks apart your bad parts in the mirror, I want you to stick post-it notes on all those parts so you can't see them and then write over the post-it note all the parts of your body that you like the most. Try this for three weeks so that we can try to rewire the neuroplasticity in our brain and create a new habit around how we choose to appreciate our body. See you next week!
May is Masturbation Month!
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni Skyler and this is hosted by Adam and Eve. May is masturbation month and good thing, because it is one of my favorite topics. Masturbation is one of the most essential ingredients for our sexuality. It's where we come into deep relationship with ourselves, where we get to explore our erogenous zones, access our orgasms and relish in our fantasies. Yet, masturbation is so rarely discussed. If we want to be able to enjoy the full potential of our sexuality, we need to explore what turns us on. Furthermore, if we want to be in the bedroom with another person, we have to communicate what turns us on. They're not mind-readers. So, the next time your masturbate, whether you're bored, self-soothing, or horny, I want you to think about this as a celebration of your body and giving yourself the gift of pleasure. Thanks for listening and tune in next week.
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni Skyler and this is brought to you by Adam and Eve. Today's topic is female masturbation. I adore this topic, I always have. Back in college, I got to be in the Vagina Monologues, where I wrote and performed my very own monologue all about female masturbation. I talked about all the ways women could self-pleasure; from the detachable shower head, to a bathtub faucet using your hand, humping a pillow, sitting on a motorcycle and of course, using a vibrator. I love vibrators. I have a whole collection. Vibrators are this toy that goes right to the point. We have this clitoris. It's an organ. It's an erectile tissue that has no other purpose but pleasure. 8,000 nerve endings packed in just for your pleasure. So, different toys to consider — from Adam and Eve, we have this suction cup that suctions onto the clitoris and not working because too much use, but it suctions our clitoris. Has a great time and different speeds. Or, if you need a lot more action and you want some activity within your vagina and on your clitoris, you can do the Rabbit that addresses both. So, whatever your source of pleasure, I invite you to bolster your collection of toys and enjoy your self-pleasure. Have a great one and tune in next week!
Mindfulness is Sexy
Welcome back to Savvy Sex in 60 seconds. I'm Doctor Jenni Skyler and this is brought to you by Adam and Eve. We're talking about vacation sex and what makes it steamy and sexy and easy. The bigger existential question is "How do you recreate this in regular life?" So, today's tip, just the tip, is all about mindfulness. How do we tune into our brain and our body so that we can, A, clear out the overwhelm and B, actually feel the sensations happening in our body so that we can elevate our arousal. So, here's your homework assignment; I want you to set an alarm once a day, close your eyes, take 10 slow deep breaths and by the time you get to ten, track three sensations in your body. Like, right now, I'm sitting, so I feel gravity. I just had lunch, so I feel a little full and I'm making a video, so I feel a little bit of that anxious flutter in my chest. For extra credit, do this right before sex, because if you can clear out the overwhelm and tune into your sensory world, you'll also be able to magnify your arousal. See you next week for another tip!